Feedback Please

Firstly apologies for not posting for so long, I haven’t abandoned the cause I promise! I was in the first trimester of pregnancy, which as some of you will know is knackering, so I was sleeping whenever I had the chance. Now that my energy levels are back to normal, and this blog has been up and running for a few months, I thought it would be good to take stock and consider where to go from here. It would be really useful to hear from others as to what you think about what I’ve done so far and any ideas you have for the future as I very much want this to be a blog for all CSs. You can contact me by commenting on this post or emailing or messaging me through the Clergy Spouse Support Facebook page.

Feedback on the following points would be particularly appreciated:

1) A basic flaw with a blog like this, which deals with potentially sensitive issues, is that it is public and can be read by anyone. This means that CSs may not be able to be as open as they would be if they knew only other CSs were reading. In the long term I am going to look into creating a website which would combine providing information with hosting a private forum for CSs. As I am not very techy I have no idea just how long term this plan will end up being. In the meantime another option would be, as a couple of you have already suggested, a closed Facebook group; people can apply to join and the administrators of the group could then check that they are a genuine CS before they are given access to the group. This would give a private space for CSs to have discussions and ask for advice etc all in a spirit of mutual support. If this is something you would like me to go ahead and set-up please let me know. It would also be good to hear from anyone who would like to help administer the group.

2) My post listing all of the diocesan clergy handbooks seemed to be popular and gets plenty of views. There has also been quite a bit of positivity about the book reviews. Would you like to see more of this sort of information, sign posting to potential sources of advice etc? Would you find it helpful to have as much CS related information as possible centralised in one place rather than having to go through diocesan websites?

3) There is a limit to how much I can write about based on my own experiences and I don’t want the blog to only contain my thoughts on being a CS. I was originally hoping others would contribute their own wisdom so that we could gather together a whole body of advice on every aspect of being a CS. Is this something you are just not interested in? Is the privacy issue holding you back from writing about your own experiences? Would a closed Facebook group where you would know who you were talking to be a more comfortable space for this sort of thing?

4) I’ve found that meeting other CSs can be a challenge if nothing happens at a deanery or diocese level. I’m also aware that the meet-ups which do occur may only appeal to certain people and in particular do not always suit male spouses. If you don’t fit in with what goes on but would still like to have contact with other CSs you can feel a bit stuck. So I was considering a ‘Would like to meet’ section; people can email me with a description of the sort of CS company they would appreciate and their geographical area e.g. ‘CS based in west Kent would like to meet a fellow CS who would like to go to the pub for a drink every so often and talk about anything other than church.’ I would then post this on the blog without giving any personal details and anyone who would be interested in meeting up could then email me and I could put you in touch (having confirmed that you are both actual CSs just to be on the safe side.)

I look forwards to hearing your thoughts.

5 thoughts on “Feedback Please

  1. I will do a longer off list reply but all this sounds good and as Joy said, failry easy to set up. There’s a mixture of open (like your Dioc Handbook list) stuff, and closed stuff needed. The Clergy Mummies FB group works pretty well for ordained women with children, and I can imagine this working like that does.

    The beauty of your blog along with a FB group could be that if people come up with stuff in the FB group that’s useful generally, rather than personal, it could be turned into a blog post, even if it’s started life as a closed conversation.

    More soon….


    • There is already a closed group on Facebook called Clergy Spice, for clergy spouses. I think if you search for Clergy Spice you can ask to be invited to join.

  2. Hi there, don’t know if I’ve put this in the right place so bear with me.
    There is a secret group on facebook set up a few years ago by 3 CS from Lichfield diocese, called Mrs and Mr vicarages. We now have over 250 members.
    As it’s a secret group you need to be added by a spouse friend who is already in it, and then approved by the admin.
    If anyone is interested, you could email me at

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